My life in sacred heart
by Aussie95
Summary: What I imagine would be my life if I worked in Sacred heart
1. Chapter 1

**MY LIFE IN SACRED HEART**

* * *

**My POV**

Well here I am...I just finished my med school and this is my first day at the county hospital of sacred heart. Oh god, I'm nervous. Who's my intern? Wait no, I'M the intern right? And he's the resident. I think. What's his name? Oh god is that him in front of him? He's old. Better say something. He looks important.

"Hello sir."

"Hello there." He seems like a nice old guy. He has a bright smile. "Prepare to hang yourself in the next months."

"Um...you mean to...you mean 'hang in there'? That kind of 'hang'?"

"Nope. I mean you're gonna hang yourself in a month. Good day." Oooookay...holycrap. What the hell? Okay calm down I'm supposed to find him in the... in front of the... okay I'll just ask this nurse where I can find him.

"Excuse me miss?"

"It's mrs. and don't call me miss again or I'll have my man tear you a new one." Holyshit she's insane. Ah there's another. Can't use miss. Just say nurse.

"Nurse could you..."

"Listen just because I'm a nurse doesn't mean I'm your personal dog okay?"

"Wait no but I..."

"Are you treating my woman like she was your dog? Well, she's my dog! Ahaaaalright!" He started laughing. She looked rather furious. He immediately stiffled his laugh. "Seriously don't treat my woman like that."

"No, listen seriousl I didn't want any disrespect. I just want to know where I can find doctor..." Where is that note? "J...John Dorian? I'm one of the interns...or residents. I'm the new guy." Oh man I look like an idiot.

"Ooh you're one of the interns. Your one of JD's interns. Nice. He's over there." Oh my god he's next to my ear he's whispering. "He's the idiot with the stupid smile."

* * *

**External narrator.**

Michael walked over to JD.

"Hello there. My name is Doctor John Dorian but for the next upcoming days your gonna be calling me 'the grand master who is going to decide my faith'." He said those last words with emphasis so they sounded scary. He gave out a little laugh. When he realised Michael was not laughing he stopped. "Odd, usually interns laugh at that."

"Nnnnnnno, newbie ah-tthey dont. In fact, actually they never laugh at any of your jokes, anda guess why? Because you're just not gosh darn funny muh-ahah." Dr. Cox said as he slammed against JDs chest 2 or 3 charts an then started leaving. JD looked at Michael.

"Um...he's just...he's just joking he actually loves me. If it wasn't for his obligation of being a tough guy we would be best friends." And then he tilted his head and looked in space. Michael was rather unconftorbal waiting like that. JD stayed like that for over a minute and when he snapped out of it he said "That would be a nice bunny don't you think?" Michael looked at him with a blank face. "Well?"

"Uuuuuum...yyyyeeeeaaaahhhh?" Michael said uncerrtain.

"Great!" JD said happily. "Well, you do know that the meting starts at 2h30 right?" He said looking at his watch.

"Uh, yeah. Isn't it 2 30 now?" Mike said looking at his own watch.

"No, now it's one thirty."

"Oh dammit my watch must be slow."

"HEY!" A big guy yelled behind Mike, making him jump.

"W...What?"

"Don't curse in this hospital ,there are kids." And he started going down the hall. He muttered "Hell, no one respects the damn rules in this hell hole." Mike was shocked. He pointed at the tall guy and looked at JD to have an answer on who it was.

"Oh, that's the janitor." Jd said. "You'll be making a good aquaintance of him later on. If I'm correct you're gonna jam the door with a penny."

"...Wwwwhat? Why would I do that?" He asked.

"Because you're the first intern he saw."


	2. Chapter 2

**My POV**

Well, my first screw up. I come here an hour to early. God knows how many people I'm gonna kill. Anyway, I have an hour to kill. What am I gonna do for an hour? Oh, I think I saw a coffe shop outside. I could have a coffe, read the paper. I have my Ipod right? I can't believe I'm going out these doors already. I was expecting something dramatic. Saving some guys life. Or no better yet. Like in ER losing a patient the first day and then delivering a baby...yeah and then having my coat over my shoulder and leaving as the sun sets. Cooooooool. Oh there's that janitor. He's working on the door. He seemed angry before, I should be friendly to him. As gramps always said 'the more friends you have, the further you'll go in life.'

"Hi." God he's scary.

"Hey you're the one who swore before right?"

"Yeah listen I wanted to apologize. You're right there are kids here and..." He's not listening to me. Change the subject. "Uh, so..."

'...'

Aaaaaaaaaaaawkard.

"Yeah?"

"So you working on that door huh?" Stupid stupid stupid.

"Is this some kind of trick question?" Proves my point. "Something is jamming the door. I think its a penny." What? Oh my god that nut before said something about this. I should have listened.

"Yeah they'll do that to you." Give him a tip. Like gramps always said 'the more tips you give, the more they'll give... to you'. "You know, if you bend a little piece of iron and put some oil where the penny is, you can just scoop it out." I can feel it in my bones that we're gonna be best friends.

"Are you telling me how to do my job? Oh right, a janitor is so stupid he doesn't even know how to do is own job. You know what? I..." Shit! Abort, abort!

"Yeah you're right I shouldn't have told you that. You know how to do your own job." Make a joke, quick. "hey and by the way, when it's out..." be very sarcastic, very sarcastic. "...could ya give it back to me? Heh heh." Aaah, as gramps always said 'make 'em laugh and they'll make you a path...to their friendship.'

"Are you saying you put this penny in here?" Oh crap.

"No I was just making a joke. Heh, you need to relax."

"Are you saying janitors dont have a sense of humor. Oohohoho you are going down my friend." Abort mission. Abort mission. As gramps always said 'if you see a man mad, leave him to his pad. "There's no use in running away. Your life is going to be a living hell starting nnnnnnnn..."

Great I can't hear him anymore.

"..."

Stupid gramps. He always was a little nuts.

* * *

"Ooooone...big...uuuum..."

"Come on we haven't got all day." Oh god, a man cant even decide which coffee to buy without some guy with a stopewatch behind him.

"Um...one big 'coffee lat...um?"

"Cafè lattè?" God I hate these italian nicknames for a simple coffee.

"Um yeah. 'Cafè lattè' or...whatever."

"Oooookaaaayso, on cafè lattè venti."

"Nononono, just a big coffee whatev..."

"Listen _sir_ I'm doing my job so just shut up and have a seat. We'll call you when it's ready." What the f*** did he just say?

"What? What wait but..."

"Listen pal, have a seat or G T F O _capisce_?" Christ, the way hes talking he sounds like a mafioso. Okay calm down just... what the hell is that guy doing? He's acting like some kind of...ape? Is he retarted? Anyway just take out your paper, and pretend you are reading. Hey there's the old guy. Might as well speak to him. He's the first guy I met.

"Hello sir." Be polite.

"Well hello son. I happy to see some people still are polite." Score! "Donnie get this kid a muffin on my behalf." Holy shit a muffin. Double score. Blueberry. Triple score!

"Thank you sir. By the way, sir, you seem someone important with that lab coat on you..."

"Yes I was...that's right WAS...the chief of medecine." What? So he isn't now?

"What? So you aren't now?"

"Nope." So he doesn't have any authority in the hospital?

"So you don't have any authority in the hospital?"

"Nope." So why does he have that lab coat?

"So why do you have that lab coat?"

"'Cause I want people to think I have authority." Well he fooled me.

"Well you fooled me." Not that I won't have as much as respect for him just because he isn't chief of medecine. "Not that I won't have as much as respect for you just because you aren't chief of medecine." Did that come out right? "Did that come out right?" Why do I always think what I'm gonna say before I say it? "Why do I always think what aI'm gonna say before I say it?"

"I find this conversation boring. Now you won't mind if I leave right?" Aaaaaaand he's gone. Great. All alone again.

"Hey asshole! Catch!" What? The coffee boy? No! No, don't throw my coffee at me.

_splash_

I haven't even been here a day and I already hate this place.

* * *

Hope you like it! Please send me suggestions to how continue.

Read, review and enjoy.


	3. Chapter 3

"blahblahblah" = dialogue

blahblahblah = first person narration (Michael)

_blahblahblah = _music and/or third person narration

* * *

2:30

_I wanted love,_

_I needed love,_

_Most of all,_

_Most of all._

_Someone said true love was dead and I'm bound to fall._

_Bound to fall_

_For you. Da-da-dada-dadada_

_Da-da-dada-da... _Uh-Oh. It's that janitor. Well, better take off your ear buds. I wonder what he wants now.

"...nnnnow."

"Um...'scuzeys?"

"I said '...nnnnow'" What. The. Hell? I mean I knew he was an idiot but this is ridiculous.

"Wait, why did you say nnnow?"

"Well, you see before I said I was gonna make your life a living hell starting nnnn... and now I'm finishing that 'nnn...' with a '...nnnow'. See?" Oh god, you know what? I don't have to take this shit. Stand up for yourself man.

"Ooooh, well, you didn't waste your life. Now I think it's time you go back to your rubber chamber and into your straightjacket."

"Are you insinuating that I'm crazy?"

"No, no, please don't kill me. You're right, you're right, my life's a living hell. And it's all thanks to you. Please. PLEASE! I have a wife and a son."

"Are you lying?"

"Yes."

"Anyway, you're wrong. You're life isn't a living hell. Not yet."

"Um, I feel I'm gonna regret this but...when is it gonna start being a living hell?"

"When I make you get in late for work." Huh?

"What are you talking about? I still have fifteen minutes. It's only two fifteen. Look at the clock."

Aha, I knew you were gonna play that card against me. So here's my counter-attack : I turned the clock back thirty minutes." What? Quick check your I-Pod and... _SHIT! _2:45? RUN RUN RUN!

Almost there... I can see the door... Oh thank god for automatic opening doors... _SLAM! _

Huh? How did I end up on the floor?

"Oh, by the way. A penny's jamming the door." Ooooooh...

* * *

"I'm sorry. I'm late, I'mlateI'mlateI'mlate. Please don't fire me boss-man. PLEEAASSEE..."

"Um kid, I'm not you're boss...JD is. Aaaand he's over there." Oh

"please don't fire me boss^! I'll lick you're feet... Just don't fii-hii-hii-hhiire meeeee..."

"Mike, get up from the floor I'm not gonna fire you. I saw the incident with the floor so you're excused." Oh, well... then get up from the floor man... You still have a shred of dignity.

"But you will have to be punished sooo..."

_!_

"One week, no, two weeks working with... Mike stop...let go of my leg it's not that bad." Ok...I think it's safe to say any shred of dignity I had is now dead.

"So, two weeks working with doctor Cox." Oh, haha, 'Cox'.

"And where might I find this doctor...Cox?" _Suddenly, doctor Cox came in._

"Jesus god, everyone in this stupid hospital is as slow as a worm here. I swear to GOD if I see one intern who's not saving someone's life I am going to burn his legs, shoot his penis off and rip his head off as slowly as possible so he can suffer extra-long..." Oh god he's coming towards me. "...YOU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? NOTHING!"

* * *

Okay, calm down. He can't find you here. You're safe out here. In these bushes...in parking lot. He won't find me, he won't find me, he won't find... _Dr. Cox jumped up behind him and grabbed him by the shirt._

"Let's go, you have patients. A REAL doctor doesn't run out of a hospital like a sissy, even if he is one."

Dammit he found me. Okay just follow him. Ooookay here's my first patient. He's probably gonna ask me questions, so I gotta be ready. Oh, this guy has the flu, what kind of questions could he ask me? Haha. You ain't got nuttin' on me Cox. YOU CAN'T ASK ME ANYTHING HARD HAHAHAHHAHAHA.

"Okay newbie, so, this patient's arealexicose is at a third of a sixteenth of hypogubaleration. What thermodynamicareolyxaccis should we use?"

...

* * *

Okay, don't worry. He can't find you out here. You're safe out here. In these bushes...in the parking lot. He won't find me. But I do have to stop coming here...

"Okay, punishment for running out on a patient : you do stitches for the rest of the day. Enjoy."

Crap. "Okay I'm just gonna go to the bathroom."

* * *

Rub-a-dub-dub. I'm peeing in the tub. Well actually not but... Oh who cares. What a terrible day. I hate this hospital. First the janitor then the doctor, god knows who else is going to attack me. If not god himself. Huh, what's that inscription on the toilet door? It looks like someon wrote backwards. Oh well.

Zip up aaand your done. Well, look on the bright side. Nothing can go worst today right? Mpf. What the...? Rrrg. My...my feet seem stuck to the floor... What the...? What's on the floor? Glue? Super glue? OH SHIT! I'm... I'm glued to the floor... I'm LITERALLY GLUED TO THE FLOOR! What the...who the hell woould've done this? Hey...the mirror. Oh yeah...I can read the inscription on the door.

"I told you I was going to make your life a living hell..."

Son. Of. A. Bi...


End file.
